liquor and fireworks
Most of us are pretty sharp, but even some of the smartest people around get pretty dumb when it comes to fireworks. There is something primal that comes over a guy (or gal) when it comes to lighting stuff on fire and watching it explode. All reason and rationing seems to get doused out once a match is lit. While we want you to have a fun time with our awesome selection of fireworks that ranges from simple sparklers to massive aerial fireworks, we also want to remind you to keep safety at the forefront. Below, we list four things to avoid when putting on a backyard pyrotechnic show (or using fireworks anywhere).

  1. Don’t light fireworks on dry grass. If the grass is dead and brown, it is likely to catch fire very quickly if an item misfires or an errant spark lands in the wrong place. Just head over to youtube.com and check out all the videos of the schmucks stomping out grassfires and having to call the fire department. Even if you are using fireworks in a safe, cleared area, you still need to remember to have a hose nearby or large bucket of water. And, if at your own home, please, PLEASE know the security code to the sprinkler system!
  2. Don’t “play” with fireworks. While it might seem like a good idea at the time to have Roman candle fights or shoot off rockets down the hallway of the dorm, the end result is really never good. At a minimum there will be property damage, and there is a good change someone will get hurt.
  3. Speaking of playing with fireworks, don’t ever try to launch them out of your butt crack or near any part of your crotch. After a few beers, you guys seem to think this is funny. But, it won’t seem so funny when you have to make a trip to the emergency room for 3rd degree burns on your posterior or to have your pocket rocket put back together. Sorry, didn’t know how to phrase this any more delicately!
  4. Don’t ever drink and detonate. Consuming alcohol or other mind-altering substances and then using fireworks is a recipe for disaster. Your decision-making will be impaired way beyond the expected pyro prejudice and you’ll likely end up in jail overnight . . . . and paying some hefty fines.